I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

You chose a really interesting format for this piece. It is also interesting how the man's story unfolded within the structure of the letter.

Observations & Suggestions:

The character's voice was pretty clear, but it seemed that there were more details about Janine than James.

At times, the odd line breaks made the piece a bit difficult to follow. It is not in typical paragraph form, which would have helped. There were also a few too many fragments in here. That is to be expected in a narrative, but in a letter? I would think someone writing a letter would tend to write in complete sentences more often than not.

Overall, I think this is a pretty interesting piece, but it could use some polish and light revision to pull it all together and improve readability.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .