I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

Interesting idea... writing a characterization of someone with amnesia. There is a nice amount of mystery here as well. What will happen when she figures it out? Will she like the person she finds?

Observations & Suggestions:

Cute as the idea is, the piece drags at times. The internal dialogue was slightly stiff, and there are some grammar issues here and there. The oodles of questions felt a bit droning after a while too. The pacing could have been a bit smoother in general.

I'm not sure that the character ever became really full for me. It started as devoid of character, which lasted for some time. The voice never really changed as he discovered who he was. Somehow, it did not all click for me in the end. The idea is quite clever for this type of narrative story though... quite creative!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .