I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

I like that this was a narrative story rather than a standard "My name is ____, and I'm from _____," type of piece. It allowed you to add some nice imagery and story elements.

Observations & Suggestions:

This piece could use an edit. There are grammar issues pretty frequently which made reading difficult at times. You have some beautiful phrasing in this piece, but I stumbled and had to reread lines quite often. Some questionable grammar is to be expected in a narrative, but if there is enough to make reading hard, you might want to pull back a bit.

It seemed pretty clear from the very beginning that the character would have some sort of super power. As soon as the father got hurt, I knew what it was going to be. I wonder if there might be a way to work some more suspense/surprise in there.

Overall, I think you did a fair job of creating a character in such a small word count. A bit of revision could go a long way for this piece though... It would be worth it in the long run I think.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .