I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

Lovely imagery and ideas going on here. There are some interesting moments, to be sure.

Observations & Suggestions:

I thought it was a bit strange to introduce Mercedes as a written character and then not mention it again in any way. As I read, I kept wondering when any mention of "The writer" again, but there wasn't one. That seemed a bit disjointed to me.

I also thought that Mercedes was an odd choice of name for a Native American character. To me, Mercedes screams rich, snobby, yuppie... that type of thing. Of course, stereotypes are stereotypes, but I thought that the name and the character were unrelated in my mind and thought I should mention it.

I do wish the piece was a bit longer and gave a bit more characterization. She falls a little flat because there are only so many details you can include in 366 words.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .