I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" .
Thanks so much for entering!

Some things I Like:

The letter is a creative way to go about this narrative. It works well.

The writing itself is quite solid and eloquent, which seemed fitting too.

Observations & Suggestions:

I thought it was slightly odd that "The Ghost Hawk, though as no one technically knows who that is - that is to say, me" but the Ghost Hawk is legendary. It seemed... just a little strange to me I suppose.

Equally odd in the beginning is the use of "stupid" immediately after words like "officious". That seemed a bit out of character tome.

Toward the end, I was surprised at the mention of his horse and nature because they seemed off-topic. After rereading the reason for the letter, they do fit the purpose of 'describing a hero'. Perhaps they just seemed tacked on rather than flowing within the narrative?

Anyway, a nice entry! Good luck!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .