Hi Ellis,

I'm going to send a few individual thoughts for each chapter, and then I'll send an overall review for the item as a whole as soon as I'm done with the individual components.

I thought this was an interesting first chapter to the story, although I found it a little short. I really liked the action, but it felt like this was just a snippet that should be included in a larger part. When you're first starting a story (especially a fantasy story where you've got world-building to do), I think it's a good idea to develop a little of that world. For example, you could describe the terrain found on the battle map, or providing a little exposition explaining what happened to Lord Ailus' to want him to exact vengeance. Overall, I think it's a good start, but a first chapter should probably be a little longer and include a little more detail so that the reader can become fully immersed in the fantasy world you've created.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .