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Review #4077427
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by A Guest Visitor
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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi Cobe ,

I'm reviewing as a judge of "Invalid Item" .

Title: It was very relevant and a good one.

Characters and plot: I like that the scary things happened after Brynn had returned home. I find it unreal when scary/strange things happen when everything is moving smoothly. I mean, there should be some kind of change for another scary thing to occur. Take, for instance, Thomas just suddenly acting weird and Brynn has been at home all along. The new thing in your story is that Brynn had just returned home, so something must have taken place when he was away. Since the story is from Brynn's POV, I find it real that he suddenly sees Thomas being strange.

I like the characters and thought they were well formed for a short story. Brynn was the elder one and more disciplined while Thomas was his younger cousin. Even room he way Thomas ate, it was clear he didn't know much about mannerisms. It's a surprise for someone young and maybe mischievous like Thomas to turn into a monster and I liked that very much.

The story left me wanting more so as to know whether Brynn and his sister managed to escape or not. But it looks like they didn't escape because they were trapped.

Setting: It was good.

Prompt: You used all the words and they didn't forced at all *Thumbsup*.

Grammar and punctuation: There weren't any errors that stopped the flow and there were no many. My suggestion:
. . . his fingers clenched around the steel knife so
How about: . . . he clenched the steel knife so

What I liked best: I enjoyed the idea of Thomas turning into a monster, most likely a werewolf.

Write on!

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