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Review #4077438
Viewing a review of:
 
The Cleansing  [18+]
The truth behind the legend.
by 🌕 HuntersMoon
Review of The Cleansing  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ,

I'm reviewing as a judge of "Invalid Item.

Title: I like it because it made me curious to find out what was being cleansed. At first I thought it was some kind of ritual or occult practices but after reading the whole story, I found it very relevant.

Characters and plot: I like the idea of Thomas being possessed by Jack The Ripper or was it Jack the Ripper who was the darker side of Thomas. Either way, I enjoyed the personality of a murderer and his fears.

I understood the story better after doing a bit of research on Jack The Ripper and the type of women he murdered and that he usually ripped their internal organs. You incorporated all that into your story very well.

One thing I need clarification was when Thomas fell asleep then he suddenly found himself in a street, was that a dream or was it a part of him taking over. I think a few transition lines would work there.
Setting: A foggy day on Friday the 13th when the main character was all alone. I also like the era you set this story in.

Prompt: I saw the words froze, steel, and drip (which was supposed to be dripped). I didn't see shattered.

Grammar and punctuation: Very well done just this line "No . . ." The protest was cut. I think when something is suddenly interrupted, a hyphen is used so that it looks like :"No--" The protest . . .

What I liked best:
Jack The Ripper and Thomas being in one person.

Great story. Write on!

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