Greetings, quigley!

I really enjoyed reading this piece! I loved the humor you incorporated it, too. The dialogue was excellent. Not once did I zone out while reading it, which sometimes happens when I'm reading longer paragraphs and little action. There are so many things about this I like. Great job!

"Hwhat would it require to frighten a horror writer?" Howie said, adding his usual "H" to every "W" word. I absolutely loved that you added this little quirk to the piece. Gives it character, for sure!


I have one suggestion below.

Paragraph 31

"No smokers here," Branson shrugged.
This is just technical, hardly worth mentioning, lol. You might want to consider changing the comma to a period, or adding a dialogue tag since shrugged is body language, not a dialogue tag.
Branson shrugged. "No smokers here."

This made me laugh:

         "So I'm a closet puppeteer! Whatever!" Marie grabbed the candle, lit it, and gasped.

You are a very gifted writer. Your flow, your dialogue, the ease of everything you've written here works. I love, love, love it! (I could almost picture a Scooby-doo scenario here, lol. Please don't take offense to that. I've watched quite a few Scooby-doo movies with my grandkids lately, so... that explains it!)


Have a great day and'
K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .