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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC *Cat2*
This is a Simply Positive Review

*Skull* Oh, no -- brain worms! Yes, those musical lyrics that worm their way into our head and park there for hours or days. They can be maddening. Worst of all, it's most likely to be a song that we strongly dislike, yet happened to hear earlier that day. Torture, indeed!


Observations:

I take a walk to clear my head,
and think of something else instead.
I take in the sights and breathe the air,
The infernal lyric always there.

Repeat of the word "take" in the same verse. Try a replacement word for it to cut down on the repetitiousness.

TRY:
I enjoy the sights, and breathe in the air.
The infernal lyric's always there.


I put my favorite music on,
It doesn't work, it isn't gone.

These two lines fall a bit flat.

TRY:

I try to play my favorite song
The other refused to move along

It has a little more impact at the end of the lines, and reminds the reader that it is a song stuck inside the head." Just a quick word change, but I'm sure you could put together something better.

*Monster7* I cringed as I started reading your poem -- not because of the quality of the poetic verses, but because I knew right after I finished it, a song that has tortured me, would again get stuck in my head. Don't make me say it! Oh, why not: "Sugar -- ahh, honey, honey, ... " *Music2*

Have a great day! *Smirk* *Laugh*

Regards,
WebWitch




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