Hi, I'm Bikerider and I'm reviewing your story as a judge for: "Beauty is skin deep"  for the Newbies ONLY Short Story and Poem Contest. I hope you find my comments helpful.

It is sometimes difficult for writers to share their feelings and writings with others to read and critique, but I'm glad you did. Thank you for entering the contest.

Final Thoughts:

You make your point well in this essay. You point out what is being considered. You state your position on the subject. You present research to prove your point. And finally, you sum up all the information into a brief statement. Good job.

I noticed that under genres, you listed only 'other.' Using as many options to describe your story should be something you strive for. Many readers look at this to determine if they want to take a look at the story. But seeing only 'other,' many will move on without reading. There are about 105 choices under 'genre' when you create a static item, and while you should use only those that apply to the story, you should use as many as possible.

For example: A romance story can have: Love/Romance, Relationship, Friendship, Emotional. It can be biographical or a contest entry, or possibly comedic. The point is that you should apply three to the genre tag, as long as they apply to the story.

Also, experiment with different fonts and font sizes. The presentation of a story is much like the presentation of a fine meal. Using larger font, different font styles, will give your story a professional presentation which might be the difference between someone reading it or not.

While I agree with you that beauty is only skin deep, it is not that agreement that makes me say this is well done. Offering an essay is sometimes not done logically, but the logic of your argument is obvious here. You did a good job with this, and I hope you will expand your writing to include whatever genres you find interesting.

Keep writing.

Bikerider



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .