*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4087482
Review #4087482
Viewing a review of:
The Elvori and The Storymaker  [13+]
A take on the fairy tale The Elves and The Shoemaker.
by Mike W
Review by Bikerider
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hi, I'm Bikerider , a judge for


I have read your entry, "The Elvori and The Storymaker and I offer this review for your consideration. I hope you find my comments helpful.


It is not always easy for writers to put their work out for others to read and critique, but I'm glad you did. It's not often that I read something that stays with me afterward, but your story did that for me. Maybe it's just fantasy on my part, but thinking about having a story written for me, and a good one at that, and all I have to do is submit it...well, what could be better? This story is very well done, and I enjoyed reading it immensely.


Story:

What can I say? This story has it all. Good characters, plot, theme, conflict, and a surreal ending. No wonder I'm giving it 5 stars! From beginning to end I could see the location, characters, and your talent. Very well done.

Character:

The characters are great. Both Claire and Jeff are likable, realistic, and nicely introduced. At first I wondered how Jeff would pursue the writing he had not created, but you handled that problem well. Of course he had to submit it, it was too good not to.

Dialogue:

The dialogue is well done. It moves the story forward and does it in an interesting way.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling:

No punctuation, grammar, or spelling errors found.

Comments:

This story is filled with realism while having a surreal quality about it. Your creativity and imagination is on full display here. I never lost interest from start to finish, and never once stumbled on the flow of the story. This is very well done.

And I loved the ending.


One last point: The default font you use makes your work hard to read, and that will sometimes cause a reader to skip over your work. I suggest using a larger font, something like font size 3 or 3.5. It will give your work a much better look.

P.S. That awardicon does look great attached to this story. It's a well deserved award for an excellent story. By all means, Keep Writing!


~~Thank you for sharing your work, and good luck in the contest.~~







Used for Simply Positive Reviews. A gift from Pink Barbie.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/17/2015 @ 4:17pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4087482