Hi, I'm Bikerider , a judge for

"Invalid Item" 

I have read your entry, "Invalid Item"  and I offer this review for your consideration. I hope you find my comments helpful.

Story:

I enjoyed reading this quaky, creative, story. It's fun, filled with merriment, and made me smile in several places.


Character:

There are 2 characters, Missy, who we don't see much of, and Johnny Dean. It was fun watching him transform from being an attorney into a clown. (Not much difference between the two, some would say).

Dialogue:

The dialogue is authentic and used properly.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling:

“I object your honor!” Johnny strutted confidently near the judge’s desk bench trying to convince the jury.

Comments:

Some things I especially liked:

“Okay, but don't expect me to laugh.” She sat stiff and straight in her chair with a so-there look on her face. This is a great visual...I could actually see Missy sitting there like that. Well done.

He stretched out on the bed and watched TV but his clown shoes stuck up so high they blocked his view. He sat on the end of the bed like a clown abandoned by the circus.

Sometimes it's fun to just write something humorous, something without a hidden message, something that is intended just to make people smile. If that was your intention here, you hit the mark. One of the most difficult genres to write is humor, but you show a talent for it with this story.

Well done.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .