Hello, T. Moore . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely.

General Impressions: Great title for this poem. I can definitely relate to this feeling as well. Sometimes life does seem to be like some sort of dream state and we're just making the motions instead of actually experiencing it. It can be hard to reset that frame of mind too because once you fall into that cycle, it takes a long time to even wake up and realize what's happening.

Best Parts: My favorite lines were the first two because they were quite blunt and set the mood for the rest of the poem. It also showed the light/dark between day/night. The days are robotic and the nights are long without sleep. I like the wording on that one.

Possible Suggestions: I got tripped up on the second and third lines. I'm not exactly sure why, but they didn't seem to flow well following the first two. Looking at it again, I think it's because, not only are they twice the length of the first two lines, but the illusion/confusion bit makes it seem like it should cut off there. I'd maybe drop the 'all the same thing' and 'I just rise out of bed' lines down to form lines of their own. There's also a misspelling in the last line with itsself/itself.

Summary: Overall, this was an enjoyable, quick poem. The topic is one I can relate to on a personal level and I think you did a good job of painting that 'bleak' picture. Thanks again for sharing with us!






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .