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Review #4087666
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Review by Charlie ~
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello, hendrica. My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

Isn't depression just great? *Rolleyes* The worst is when you think you have a handle on it, only to have it come back and bite you at the least opportune moment. Clearly, this is a subject you feel strongly about and I can relate to it as well. I think it's important for people suffering from this sort of thing to write about it, if only to purge themselves of it for a moment. Plus, it helps to know that you're not alone.


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

The way you described it was very clear and realistic. I feel like someone who hasn't experienced depression could still relate to what you're saying here. I especially liked the speaking black words/screeching/whispering lines. Using manners of speech is a good way to help someone visual what it's like to go through this by giving them an auditory sense to use.


*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

The last three lines didn't seem to read as well as the rest of the poem for me. I think it's the repetition of always back to back, or maybe it's the long line that splits the two shorter ones. I might suggest combining 'always aware' with the last line so it would read "Always aware, forever within." Just a thought!


*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

Overall, I think you did a good job describing a difficult situation the best you could. Let's hope the waves of depression don't crash down too hard on us! Thanks for sharing!




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