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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4087670
Review #4087670
Viewing a review of:
 "Row Row Row Your Boat" (Poem #4)  [13+]
A dark parody of the classic song.
by ValerieShiflett
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, ValerieShiflett . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

Well, isn't this a fun one! I think we've all heard the original. I love dark versions of old rhyming songs like this. It's so easy to sing along and the creepy twist brings life to such an old piece. I've tried to do a couple of these before and they've never quite panned out for me. I'm impressed that you made it work so well!


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

The first two stanzas were spot on and so easy to jump right into. It was like being on a horror boat ride for Halloween. Hey, you should license this song to a place that does haunted boat rides! I can totally picture people singing along to this and having a jolly time before a shark comes up and eats them. *Laugh*


*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

The third stanza is a bit off for me. The flow isn't quite there and I think the fault lies within the last line. "From all you have gave trouble" is a confusing sentence and hard to interpret. I would suggest changing this to something like, "From all you've given trouble." When I read it in my head, that seems to flow better with the lines above it.


*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

Thanks for the spooky trip! I think you did a good job with darkening such a bright, cheery song. Thanks again for sharing with us.




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