Hi, Elena

This item caught my eye, so I figured while I was reading it - might as review it! Take from it what you wish.

What I liked: The story had great pacing and flowed easily from one sentence into another. It has an interesting main character and a lot of wonderful description. You did a great job weaving a unique tale featuring an original type of Reaper.

What I felt could use improvement: There was a sentence that seems like you might have changed what you were going to write and just forgot to completely clear it. Excerpt: She saw a two older boys drinking beer from paper bags. I recommend going back and fixing that.

There is also a bit of preemptively informing the reader information about the boys. Perhaps doing a bit more showing, such as how they might be dangerous or how she knew it was beer in the paper bags they drank out of.
Fleshing out the description more, and giving it a bit more observation over foreknowledge from Theresa, would help the reveal at the end be more of a surprise.

Favorite Line: Excerpt: She watched the little goblins and ghosts run by, thrilled with their haul, and smiled at them.
The line has wonderful characterization and scene setting for the story.

Thank you for sharing this piece with the community.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .