*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4090166
Review #4090166
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Welcome Kurt to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I was drawn to this evocative title from the Read A Newbie Page! I like the concept of dying embers relating to letting go of the past. *Smile*

The poem made me think of the passage of time and historic ages--I saw Rome burning, and battlefields. I also thought of sitting by a fire throwing bits of journal entries casting off the past as it burns, as in a ceremony. the style of writing reminded me of japanese form which leads the reader to dream and see perspectives beyond. I entered into it with my own responses. Wonderful! *Thumbsup*

I felt you could have left off the "and" as it would read more like your second verse--a little leap from line two to three.
I wondered at the use of the gerund "carrying" at first as the past tense works well, but it does actually bring some active energy.

I really enjoyed pondering on your short lines with its vivid image and potent vibe. Well done! Thanks for sharing your gift.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/24/2015 @ 11:12pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4090166