Hi there, Fellow "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  Challenger...

First Impression- Watery eyed. Did your brother die? Not that it's my business to know, but that was the impression by the end of the poem, that he is no longer here.

Rhythm It's "short and sweet"... Cute, even.

Flow & Rhyme Some points are a little off, but otherwise sexy.

Word Choice, Theme & Emotional Reaction Emotional.. Like I mentioned right away, I felt the deep, quick felt feels right away.

Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling Consistent for poetry,

Weaknesses and Improvements some points felt a little forced as far as flow and rhyme...

Such as..

a... June 8th          
a... awake.          
b... bright
b... lights...

I am not sure if you realize, or if it was just confusing to me to read your poem style at the bottom...

...but...

Iambic pentameter is a about syllable couples, or feet (iambic=a foot with one stressed and one unstressed syllable; pentameter is five feet). It has nothing to do with rhyme. But the two first lines... don't rhyme as written.

eighth... awake

now if it were...

eighth ... awaits
(close to a rhyme)
or

eight ... await
(sounds rhymey)

It's got the heart to be perfect. Thanks for posting it and allowing me to read and review. Cheers to you!

ROSΣANNΣ|NaPoWriMo|WGT|JDI
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"Superpower Reviewers HUB" 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .