*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4092135
Review #4092135
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
         Review for entry/chapter: "Invalid Entry
Review by Noyoki
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello PandaPaws Licensed VetTech ,

*Music1*My Thoughts:

I'm not great at poetry, so take my suggestions with a grain of salt, but my overall impression is that this was a well composed piece about a tragic event in history.

*Music2* My Favorite Part:

         *BurstB* I love how you used the dress. It's a detail that gives life to the poem and stood out to me.

         *BurstB* I also thought that it was a brilliant touch to use his thoughts instead of his brains. You were able to elevate it to a new level, showing us that it wasn't just the physical, but more that was taken by the bullet.

         *BurstB* You were able to draw the reader in and make them a part of the family. The President was a father, and a great leader. You brought us into his family through the title and the line at the end of the first stanza. Great job!

*Music1*My Suggestions:

         *BurstG* Maybe change the line: never to come clean to never coming clean.

         *BurstG* Add a period after President.

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Write On!!


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/03/2015 @ 6:56pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4092135