Dear ApolloTemple ,

This is review #6 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

How did I come across your piece?
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

 I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.



My overall thoughts:
With the opening paragraph, I picture it more of a poem, and perhaps this is due to the first line being incomplete, and the next line rhyming with it.

When the soil is red,
and the moon
is highest in the sky.
Streams trickle
but the wanderers
do not wander by.

After this, the story pretty much eludes me. Maybe I got so wrapped up in the poem that I couldn't see the suspense thriller in this short and sweet little piece. With no space in between paragraphs it looks all jumbled on the page and to me was a big distraction (these eyes aren't what they used to be). That being said, I gather that a series of events leads to a mental snap and the many voices in the head of the main character come out to play and haunt him all at once. That is just my take on the story. Perhaps if it were made into a longer piece the details would sort themselves out more.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .