Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Hello GypsySpirit . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. General Impressions The title totally caught my attention and made me want to read the poem. I like the addition of definition in the description. I wasn't exactly sure what was meant by 'drunken trees' and I'm sure you would've gotten questions on that had you not included some sort of explanation. What Worked There's some really great imagery here! I love the last stanza, “as I breathe wildly, hopelessly, deliriously, the zephyr of life.” The zephyr of life brings a certain picture to my mind of the tree moving in the wind, 'breathing wildly' as stated before. I also like the imagery in the first stanza with the leaves dancing in the broken wind. Definitely strong mental pictures in this one. Suggestions All of the quotations are confusing. In the second stanza, "Hush" is the first thing in quotations, but the next lines are in quotations too. Are these spoken by a different 'character' or is this the tree speaking the whole time. If it isn't the tree saying 'hush' than who is? I also don't know the word blowzily. I tried to look it up and found no results. It's strange because my computer isn't telling me that it isn't a word by marking it with a red squiggly line, but it can't find a definition for it either. I also googled the word and could find no results either. Summary Overall, I think there was quite a bit of strong imagery here. Some of the words used seemed off and the quotations were a bit confusing. They interrupted me reading the poem because I wasn't sure who exactly was speaking. Thanks again for sharing with us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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