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Review #4102177
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Review by Charlie ~
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Rated: | (3.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello GypsySpirit . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
The title totally caught my attention and made me want to read the poem. I like the addition of definition in the description. I wasn't exactly sure what was meant by 'drunken trees' and I'm sure you would've gotten questions on that had you not included some sort of explanation.

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
There's some really great imagery here! I love the last stanza,

“as I breathe
wildly,
hopelessly,
deliriously,
the zephyr of life.”

The zephyr of life brings a certain picture to my mind of the tree moving in the wind, 'breathing wildly' as stated before. I also like the imagery in the first stanza with the leaves dancing in the broken wind. Definitely strong mental pictures in this one.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
All of the quotations are confusing. In the second stanza, "Hush" is the first thing in quotations, but the next lines are in quotations too. Are these spoken by a different 'character' or is this the tree speaking the whole time. If it isn't the tree saying 'hush' than who is?

I also don't know the word blowzily. I tried to look it up and found no results. It's strange because my computer isn't telling me that it isn't a word by marking it with a red squiggly line, but it can't find a definition for it either. I also googled the word and could find no results either. *Sad*

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
Overall, I think there was quite a bit of strong imagery here. Some of the words used seemed off and the quotations were a bit confusing. They interrupted me reading the poem because I wasn't sure who exactly was speaking. Thanks again for sharing with us!


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/11/2015 @ 1:29pm EDT
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