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Review #4103106
Viewing a review of:
 Uninspired muse  [E]
My first shot at poetry. It's about my story muse who's gone MIA.
by Tiger Cub 🔱
Review of Uninspired muse  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Tiger Cub 🔱 . My name is Charlie and I've just read your first poem, "Uninspired muse"  which I found on the Please Review page. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
Ah, the case of the missing muse! How I wish I couldn't relate to this poem. *Laugh* I see that this is your first shot at poetry. I think it's awesome that you're trying to get out there and try new things while your story muse is running off doing whatever it is our muses do when they run away for a bit.

I think this was a good first attempt and the subject matter is relevant to what you're dealing with now so your voice comes through quite strong in it. I find that when you're writing poetry about something you have firsthand experience with, the tone seems to be more passionate and it is evidently that way in this case.

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
There were some super strong parts in here. My favorite line was drenched in twilight's blue. That was just a beautiful line and it brought about a nice slice of imagery to the poem. I think if you can get some more lines like that in here, you'll be well on your way to a great, imaginative poem! It's important to have a lines that stand out the way that one does. They're what will stick in the reader's mind even as they leave the poem behind.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
The biggest issue I noticed was that the flow was wonky throughout. It seems as though every line in each stanza is supposed to rhyme, but I'm afraid it doesn't work out well in this particular piece. Some of the lines are near rhymes, some are exact, and some aren't even close to rhyming. I would suggest focusing on what you want to say rather than attempting to force each line to rhyme. I'm a huge fan of free verse for this exact reason. Rhyming often comes off sounding forced and it's something that I think you'll pick up over time with practice.

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
Overall, I enjoyed checking out your poem that I found on the "Please Review" page. I think you're well on your way to tapping into a new form of writing. I hope your story muse comes back, but keep practicing your poetry one in the meantime! Thanks again for sharing.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/12/2015 @ 11:34pm EDT
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