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Review #4103110
Viewing a review of:
 Zero Hope  [13+]
from writing prompt exercise: ABC poem
by JLoranEstes
Review of Zero Hope  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello JLoranEstes . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
Oh man, this is a tough poetry style! I'm impressed with your ability to make an ABC poem seem so natural. If I tried to do this, you wouldn't believe how crazy it would come out looking. *Laugh* I think I'd probably give up around F or G.

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
What I like best about this poem is your ability to actually tell a story and still keep with the poetry form. There in the middle, I almost forgot to make sure you were still following the alphabet. From H to O, I think you hit your peak. That was the most natural part and I felt involved in the story as well. I wanted to see what would happen next.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
Of course, the hardest letter is the one that stands out the most. "Xiphoid process" seemed completely unnatural with the language used in the rest of the poem. I'm not sure what, if anything, you can do about that part because there are so few words that actually start with X. *Facepalm* Still, it's worth mentioning that the X line stood out to me while reading.

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
Overall, I think you did a great job with this. There are a couple parts that could be tighter throughout and the 'xiphoid process' was weird, but the rest of it seems to flow together naturally. You really told a story with this one. Nice job! Thanks again for sharing.


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