Hi, I'm Bikerider , a judge for "Invalid Item" I have read your entry, "Invalid Item"  and I offer this review for your consideration. I hope you find my comments helpful.

I read your story twice and each time I did I could identify with the character in the car. The idea for the story is very good and timely. Sometimes giving more thought to an already-made decision can change our lives.


Character: We see little of the two characters. The man standing outside the Walmart is described to a degree, but we never get to see or know the person driving the car.
In order for a reader to become invested in a story, or care about the characters, he or she must first get to know something about that character, otherwise he remains a stranger. In most stories I like to see all the main characters, but in this story there is no need to know much about the driver other than his/her feelings about the event.

Dialogue: There are only two lines of dialogue, but the dialogue is authentic and appropriate to the story.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: I saw no grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors that detract from the story.

Comments:This is a poignant short story. I have seen the men and women who position themselves at stop signs or traffic lights and ask for donations. While I rarely give these people money, I have on occasion handed over a few dollars. I never questioned why I did give some times, but not at other times, but after reading your story maybe I'll have to listen for that soft voice in my ear.

Nicely written.

Good luck in the contest.

Bikerider







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .