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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4104036
Review #4104036
Viewing a review of:
 White Lily Upon the Grave  [13+]
exploring themes of death etc
by Erin May Hart
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC *Vine1*
This is a Simply Positive Review.


*Grave* Wow, this was a very intense read. It has the raw edge of death and the frightening thought of someone embracing its arrival.


*Thinker* However, it is an icy snap of water in the reader's face, awakening the emotions of how bleak life can be through they eyes of one who suffers depression.


*Umbrella* It is not a moment of feeling blue, it is a total lost of the will to live, because it makes life itself seem like living death.

You grab the reader and pull her through the hell of such emotions. *Monster5*


Observations:

"those who have ran [have run] into Death’s arms and embraced Him" "Him" as in death? I notice you capitalize "Death" within the poem and capitalize this one "Him" yet keep the other "hims" small-cased when referring to the same entity?

*Note2* Speaking of capitalizing, the "i's" should be capitalized so it's less distracting to the reader and it looks more professional.

*Shield9* Your poem is dark yet brings light upon a very serious subject matter.



Well done!*Wave4*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



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