"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC.
This is a Simply Positive Review.

I like the idea you have brought to this item about the mythical Kitsunes and if they are not myths then what havoc they could wreak upon the world is obvious.

It is a good preface to the story you plan to write. You introduce the idea and the characters and how they act and react. They are well-described and the reader understands what they are all about.

Observations:

"Perhaps one of the most drown out and kept muffled beliefs is the existence of Kitsunes," I think you meant to say "drowned-out?"

"There are many that appear throughout history, and will continue to influence history until they return to their realm, and no one knows how long that will be. " No need to repeat the word history, the reader gets it.

"There are many iconic Kitsunes, but perhaps the two most iconic are the sister Kitsunes of light and dark. Whenever they appear, history will always be turned upside down, it can be for better or worse, but it will always happen." There tends to be a repetitiveness within this paragraph and others. Writing tighter is better and doesn't bog-down the story with what has already been stated.

TRY: There are two iconic Kutsunes, one is light, the other dark. Their appearance will turn the world upside down, either for better or worse.

This one sentence is tighter and tells the reader the same thing without the extra words.

I think this will be a fine long story or novel if that's where you are going with this. It has much appeal for those who love fantasy and mythological stories. It can be frightening also, thus would make for good horror. It just needs a little tuning, and the place to practice this is with this brief introduction of the potential story.

I hope this has been helpful. Good luck with your story's development. Just remember to cut out all unneeded words and cast away those repetitive words.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .