*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4105642
Review #4105642
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello Belle Irene Trammell . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
I read this poem because the title caught my attention. I figured that "And everything" implied that there was something that came before the title. Being the curious person I am, I wanted to find out what came before "and everything" of course!! *Bigsmile*

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
There were a couple lines that stood out to be as being the best in the poem. I really liked the line, "I feel like I can look at every particle in my hand." What? That's just way interesting! Have you ever held a flashlight up to your hand and it's like you can see through it on the other side? This line reminded me of that feeling. I also liked I feel like I have a skull full of helium" I also dug this line, although I would change 'skull' to 'head' because 'skull full' just doesn't want to come out of my mouth when I try to read it. It's like the feeling of being floaty if your head is full of helium. I can definitely relate.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
I am so disappointed by the 'and everything' bit! When I saw the title, I thought there was definitely going to be some big connection, but it sort of fell flat for me, honestly. The way it was thrown between the lines just left me totally blank. I have no idea what is being said or how those two words could possibly connect to each line. Have you ever heard someone talking and their voice trails off, so they finish it with "and everything..."? That's what this reminded me of- an afterthought.

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
Overall, I thought there was some really strong lines in the poem that were full of interesting imagery. I had an issue with 'and everything' between each line, which is a big deal because it is the title and repeated six times in the poem. Maybe there's something I'm missing here, but I just don't see the connection.


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4105642