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Review #4105780
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Review by Charlie ~
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello P. K. Jørgensen . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
This is such a sweet story! I'm not old enough to reach that hollow point in life, but I can completely understand how someone could reach that point. Somewhere along the road, there is a disconnect between the elders and younger generations. There's such a tranquil happiness when she finally comes to term with life and its memories.

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
So much of this resonated with me. I enjoyed many parts. I liked the way she described feeling as though everyone pitied her. There's nothing worse than when you can tell that people feel sorry for you. It just isn't a good feeling, as though you can't hold your own in the world. People feel the need to walk on eggshells around you because you need them to. I also loved the exchange between the old woman and Death. It was beautiful and sweet.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
The first thing I want to mention is this line that I just can't wrap my head around: The lonesome rain would no end take. Even with the context of the rest of the sentence, I still have no idea what you're trying to say here. *Laugh*

The ending seemed a bit stale to me. After the epic nature of the entire story, the end didn't seem to do it justice. I like the general idea of her meeting an old friend in presumably heaven, but I think there might be a better, more conclusive way to get the same idea across.

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
Overall, this story was interesting and really made me think. It's hard to create such a short story that gives such a broad perspective on life in general. The ending didn't seem to fit the mood and tone of the rest of the story. Thanks again for sharing with us!


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/22/2015 @ 1:36pm EDT
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