*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4105903
Review #4105903
Viewing a review of:
 Murder in the Manor  [13+]
A murder mystery told in second person set in the 1900's
by Mikaylee- Rae Johnson
Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I was intrigued by this story when I read the brief description. I like stories written in second person because they tend to be a little different, and the idea that this one was set in the 1900's sounded interesting. Although you didn't provide a lot of description of the scene, the readers could immediately imagine the type of gathering and the people involved. The main character's memories early on worked well to introduce the characters and make their relationships clear.

When you described the two brothers, there was an early hint where the story might be heading. But then my attention shifted to the father when he didn't seem upset about what happened. I would have expected more emotion than,

"Murdered, you say! But surely, when we're the only people around, that could not be true," Christopher gasps hastily.

Even the butler seemed more saddened. Having said that, considering when the story was set, perhaps it wouldn't have been appropriate for the father to show too much emotion. Either way, this sentence had me wondering if my initial suspicion had perhaps been a little premature.

As the main character found more clues as to what had happened, it became clear who was responsible even before you spelled it out, and also why the butler was so upset. I liked that you let the readers interpret the evidence at the same time as the main character which kept them guessing a little longer.

The writing was good and the second-person narrative worked well for this story. I spotted one little typo,

with you finger – "your."

It was a nicely told story and I enjoyed the read! *Smile*


A Simply Positive reviewing sig.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4105903