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Review #4105904
Viewing a review of:
 Orphan Pawn  [13+]
Each story makes a web, Each life binds us together
by Dr Crow
Review of Orphan Pawn  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Castleright*
This is a Simply Positive Review.


*Fleurdelis* I liked the darkness of this poem as it traversed the gates of death with the soul harvester -- The Reaper." I have a fond memory of a short-lived series, "Dead Like Me," and so was attracted to this poem like a magnet.

*Skull* I'm always curious as to ones thoughts and interpretations about death and the "one" who comes to take them to the other side.

Well done rhythm department.*Compass*

Observation:

*Buttonrewind* Although repeating a certain word in a poem brings more emphasis and glues together the verses, this one spot I thought could do without the repeat word:
"It was a relic stolen from the people of the past, the police of the past"

Perhaps combine them using punctuation rather than repeating "past," would be a good choice.

TRY: It was a relic stolen some century last -- by people, and police of the past. Just a quick example, I'm sure you could come up with something better.

I loved how you incorporated the last verse, by an anonymous writer. Very cool ending! *Boat2*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch





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