Greetings, uCan'tHaveMyFoodstamps ! Welcome to the WDC community!

This is lovely. Your words flow so easily and each stanza made me pause for thought. Great visuals. You are obviously a gifted poet.

My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works, and leave the rest.

Actually, the only suggestion I have, and this is of my own opinion, is perhaps watch out for using too many words such as and or but at the beginning of your lines. It's fine to use them, just not too often. Sometimes if you eliminate them, the flow continues on, undisturbed. It's something to consider or play around with.

If this is an attempt, I can't wait to see what else you have written. Very nice!

Favorite lines...

But only the deaf could hear their calls
and even the blind turned away
in infinite disgust…

I love that stanza! Wow.

Good job!

Have a great day and...
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .