Greetings, Peter D. ! Welcome to Writing.com!!! It's a great place to spend extra time at. If you have any questions, be sure to ask.

I think, as you mentioned in your summary, that you should at least attempt to make this into a story. I'm sure there are many teens and adults who feel this way. It seems to me there is much more depression than in the past and I wonder why... So I feel perhaps many readers might connect to a story that involves someone who has the questions you mention in your sample. Hopefully, it will have a good ending (that's my own wish... not a requirement.

My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works, and leave the rest.

My only suggestions are to perhaps change your test color to something not so hard on the eyes. Mine are a little sensitive I guess. And also, there seemed to be a lot of commas. I do like commas, but there were just a lot of them.

Great job on spelling and grammar! It's obvious you care about your writing. I'd like to see more in the future. Keep writing, even if it's not a continuation of this piece. Perhaps you were born to... write.

Favorite line...

Some people claim to be born to do something, born to act, born to cook, when in reality everybody is born to die.

I'm not so sure we are born to die, but we all will die at the end of our journey through life. In the meantime, making the best of every day is important to me. And you know, there are some days, even a stretch of days, that I get into that funk. But I always make it back out.

Good job!

Have a great day and...
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .