Story: I loved this story! Succinct, to the point, not a wasted word.


Characters: There are two. Ruby Mae and Gilbert Wilson.

Ruby Mae: I like the way you let Ruby Mae describe not only Gilbert Wilson, but herself as well. She didn't overdo the description, but she did give enough for me to 'see' both Ruby and Gilbert. Nicely done!



Dialogue: The dialogue, which is all Ruby's in this story, makes the story. The way she speaks, the words she uses, adds so much to her character. Her dialogue added not only depth but life to her character. The dialogue is very nicely done.


Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: The only thing that caught my attention here was that you seemed to bold all the words, and I wondered why. This did not detract from the story, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

The thing to remember about formatting is that a proper, accepted format will make your writing look more professional. Giving your work a professional presentation will usually result in more people taking the time to read your work.


Comments: This is a great little scene that can probably resonate with many readers. We've all learned things from our grandparents, and this work is a great example of something learned from our elders. Emotions can be difficult to show to the reader in a story, but you did it well here. Ruby Mae's emotions, her heartfelt sorrow at the loss of Gilbert is easy to see. The story has a sad ending, but the sad emotions that Ruby Mae exhibits in her dialogue is perfectly stated. Nothing overdone.

I enjoyed reading this story, and my only disappointment is that it ended so quickly. Definitely a 5-star story. Good work!

Bikerider

~~Thank you for sharing your story.~~

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .