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Review #4113594
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of On the Docks  
Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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There is something very special about an outing like this. Even though the narrator's sister and his uncle were there, this was really only about him and his father sharing some time and wisdom. It seemed that the father took the lesson quite seriously and was keen that the son learned as much as he could. Even in this short story, the readers could get a pretty good idea what he was like and to me, he was the character that stood out, even more than the narrator. The way he made sure that the son understood where he went wrong was excellent and there was no judgement or criticism in the way he taught this lesson, just the honest desire to pass on what he knew.

You didn't say if it was a personal story but there were quite a few little details that almost sounded like you remembered the day. There weren't a lot of descriptions but it was sufficient for the readers to picture the scene. What was more important was the family dynamic and a bit about human nature in general, which you expertly described in sentences such as this one,

a strange quirk of human nature would not allow her to turn away from the sight she found so repulsive.

when the narrator’s sister didn't like the look of the worms.

There were some humorous parts, like the uncle's smelly bait, that didn't really have anything to do with the main story and almost seemed a little distracting. Especially as that scene was right at the end, I was hoping for a slightly more introspective ending that might have suited the story better.

There was one little typo, in this sentence,

hit the dock with a with a nearly deafening crack

where you repeated "with a." Apart from that I thought the writing was very good and you did a great job bringing this tale to life.


A Simply Positive reviewing sig.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/20/2015 @ 3:41pm EDT
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