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This is good! I like it very much. I've not read anything like it, actually. It's a great title for a poem... What happens when I fall? and a great question within the poem itself.

I have a few suggestions listed below. My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works, and leave the rest.

The only thing I noticed right away, was that each of your lines begin with a capital letter. In free-verse, the flow is important as there isn't the meter to depend on, as in traditional poetry. If you are writing down a continuous thought, you might consider uncapping those line-beginnings. But then I re-read it and realized each line is its own thought. So you are fine... I'm just not use to seeing every line capped in free verse, so it was me, not you.

This line stood out a bit awkward for me: Ever read a book about pressure. I certainly get what you are saying, and I actually don't have any suggestions, so... mostly wanted to mention it. It could be me, not the line.

Favorite lines...

Once upon a time
I trusted the world like you would trust a dime
Not at all
What happens when I fall?

I can't say enough about this stanza. It's wonderful. It should be on a poster or something. It's fantastic. I love it.

You obviously are gifted with words and it shows. My opinions are only considerations, so please don't take offense of my humble thoughts above. I wouldn't mind reading more of your poetry. I hope you keep writing more, as you are a natural.

Have a great day and'
K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .