*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4113924
Review #4113924
Viewing a review of:
 Elvis  [E]
100 word story
by LibraryPat
Review of Elvis  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Hello, LibraryPat . My name is Charlie and I'm here to welcome you to the site with a quick review. If you need any help around here, feel free to shoot me an email. Keep in mind that the following comments are simply one reader's personal opinion. I am not a professional and you know your work best. Feel free to use any helpful feedback and discard the rest. *Yinyang* *Sun*

Generally Speaking
First of all, Elvis is such a cute name for a dog. I love when pets are named things like Elvis or Hemingway. It's just adorable for some reason. I think it's really difficult to write a full story using only 100 words, so I definitely give you props on that. It's hard to do a full beginning, middle, and end in so few words, but you definitely managed with this one.

The Good Stuff I think any pet owner can relate to the idea of your pet sort of adopting you instead of the other way around. I've gotten all my pets from adoption centers or the pound because I don't want them to be put down, of course. Sometimes you go in and just really connect with one of the animals. One of the cats I have now had her eyes on me the whole time I was looking at other cats and kept reaching through bars for me. I couldn't leave her there after that, even though I didn't necessarily want her specifically when I first saw her. The people in this story had a similar experience with Elvis.

Thoughts and Suggestions The one negative I noticed is that this story has no imagery or detail at all. I mean, I understand that you can't do a ton with 100 words, but the first part of the story just seems like wasted words. It doesn't matter that you're going to your accountant/friend/horse farmer's house. You could just as easily saying that you were going to visit your friend on his horse farm and get the same point across. Why does he have to be an accountant too? If you take some of that out, you can give us more imagery about the type of dog breed and what Elvis looked like.

In Closing Overall, I think it's a cute little story. There is a clear plot to the story and I think pet owners will be able to relate. I think there is room to expand on important details by removing some of the less important details. Thanks for sharing with us!


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4113924