I was totally entranced until I hit the F word. That brought me up short and I lost interest. Nice going up until then, good imagery, good teasing/tantalizing and build up.

Great hinting at the future problems, especially with his attitude about the laws. I am curious, but didn't want to run into the foul language. I bet you could do without the F word. lol If you ever do a rewrite with out the worst swear words, let me know.


love, LinnAnn