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Review #4130515
Viewing a review of:
 Perplexed  [E]
Short story about a family befriending an old lady
by Coral Boucher
Review of Perplexed  
Review by Bikerider
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Review of
 Perplexed  (E)
Short story about a family befriending an old lady
#2045151 by Coral Boucher


Hello,Coral Boucher

I'm Bikerider and I am reviewing your item for "King's Landing updating " 


What I liked


I like the style you use to tell this story. I felt like I was having tea with a good friend and listening to the story that you wrote about. I also like the way you use a bit of humor in your writing. It comes across as friendly and gives the story a comfortable feel.


Suggestions


Giving your story a good, professional presentation will garner more readers. If a story does not look like it follows the normal writing format readers will assume the writer isn't a good story teller. While we both know it's not the case, in this situation perception is reality.


Comments


I live in the United States, so reading stories about life in Britain is interesting. I like that you say mum instead of mother. saying it that way makes it seem so much more cordial.

I have owned dogs for the last 45 years and have always enjoyed watching them when they're being playful. Your story broke back the memories of my dogs and they way they played with other dogs when I took them to the dog park. Canines are indeed our best friends, and I could tell as I read this story that you feel the same way. If a person doesn't like animals they couldn't write a warm, interesting story like the one here. You did a good job showing the emotions of the dog's owners, as well as those of the owners themselves.

Nicely done. The story flows nicely with no jarring moments. I found this to be interesting and fun to read.

Keep up the good work.

Bikerider







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