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Review #4130517
Viewing a review of:
 Never meant to be.  [13+]
Is it love or obsession? You decide.
by Wordman
Review by Bikerider
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Review of
 Never meant to be.  (13+)
Is it love or obsession? You decide.
#749865 by Wordman


Hello,Wordman

I'm Bikerider and I am reviewing your item for "King's Landing updating " 


What I liked


I saw your short story in the Love and Romance Newsletter and took a look. I'm glad I did.

I like the way you handled getting information to your reader. Using nearly all dialogue in the story made it interesting and easy to read. I think this story is played out many times every day, and because of that I believe this story will resonate with many people.


Suggestions


I saw no punctuation, grammar, or spelling errors in your story.


Comments


It is not easy to show a character's emotions, but you have done a good job with that here. Throughout the story I could feel the longing and love the character felt for the woman he could not have. I also like how you gave neither of the characters a name. Doing it that way allowed them to be anyone, which would make the reader more readily identify with the characters in the story.

I believe that most people have lost at love at some time or another, which makes your short story timely and easily identifiable for many people. Not everyone finds the right person at the right time. Which leads me to one of my favorite places in the story; Sometimes it's just the right person at the wrong time." I think that one sentence sums up this story very nicely.

Good story, easy read, nice flow, I didn't stumble anywhere.

Keep writing.

Bikerider



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