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Review #4130680
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Review by Tiggy
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Rated: | (4.5)
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*Sun* First Impression:

Talk about fast paced, this story was moving about as fast as the Porsche! You jumped straight into the action and the readers were clinging to the handles as the car shot down the streets with the gunmen in hot pursuit. There was no time to explain anything and I liked how you didn’t until about half a dozen paragraphs in, but instead just let the readers enjoy the ride for what it was. The descriptions were excellent and it was easy to picture the scene, and the way some of the main character’s personality came across through the way he was driving was nicely done.

The twist took me by surprise. The impression I had from the first half of the story was that perhaps this was a computer game, and when I read “Game over.” I thought that I was right. But what was actually happening was far more twisted and sinister than I had expected and the details were almost too good for my liking. You said a lot about the kind of society this was through the reaction of the presenter and the audience. The second contestant’s stake was even higher than the first and I felt a bit of a twinge in my stomach imagining the outcome because it affected people other than the contestant herself.


*Sun* Suggestions:

The writing was very polished. I only have one tiny suggestion you might want to take a look at.

as his Porsche 911 blew through the red light as the car’s speedometer

The repetition of “as” was quite noticeable there and I wonder if you could replace the second one with “and” to avoid that.


*Sun* Final Thoughts:

There was of course the question what made the characters take part to begin with. Was it the lure of the money or the thrill, or were they desperate in some way and had to compete? I was surprised when the story continued for a while after you revealed the twist as I expected it to end with that, and I’m not sure how well it worked but I enjoyed the read since the story was very well written.




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