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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4132089
Review #4132089
Viewing a review of:
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by A Guest Visitor
         Review for entry/chapter: "Invalid Entry" 
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: GC | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
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Greetings from House Florent, "King's Landing updating " !

Hi! My name is Cubby and I will be providing you with feedback today. As part of my raid from Team Florent, I am reviewing "Invalid Item" : Poem #1 "Invalid Entry" 

*Sun* What I really liked about this: I thought you did a wonderful job with this! I enjoyed watching your kitty the entire poem... the circular motion of his head going round with the fan blades, his green almond eyes watching you from an upside down position, and at last, waiting for you to arrive home--nose pressed against the window. You are such a good writer, Charlie. You've taken something simple from everyday life and made it special. Nice work!

*Clouds* You might want to consider: In the third stanza, second line... he thinks he's coming with, I believe you left out the word me. *Wink* Then you might want to switch your words around a bit in the line above it so the first two lines don't end with the same word... me. *Right* waiting for me by the door would be one option. In the third line is the silly little typo he which was meanst to be the. *Smile*

*Starb* Final thoughts... This poem is a great inspiration to me. I've never really tried writing poetry like this but maybe I will. Mine are mostly Dr. Seussish or traditional, but I do enjoy a good challenge once in awhile. Great job!!!

Have a great day and...
*Tulipp*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Tulipp*

Cubby ")

A "Simply Positive Review Forum "  Review


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/04/2016 @ 8:06pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4132089