%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4132101 |
 |  | Thanks! What Is It?  [E] Short story based off of a writing prompt about receiving terrible gifts  |
| (4.5)  Affiliated with "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Greetings from House Florent, "King's Landing updating " !Hi! My name is Cubby and I will be providing you with feedback today. As part of my raid from Team Florent, I am reviewing "Thanks! What Is It?"  What I really liked about this: Ah... you've captured this well, Charlie. It's very believable and I could visualize it all as it unfolded (and unwrapped  ). Everyone was so oblivious to poor Leah as she pretty much had a conversation with herself while the rest of her family talked about other things. At last, Leah just gives in and accepts the poorly crafted elephant with the missing foot. Sometimes it's just better to deal with things silently and move on.  You might want to consider: In your second paragraph, fifth line down: Her parents had begin taking I'm pretty sure begin should be begun. And perhaps in the third paragraph, you might consider italicizing Leah's thoughts of convincing herself her sisters weren't talking about her. Final thoughts... I had to smile when I read the part where you describe Mrs. Wallace's voice as motherly and over-excited.  That's a mom for ya! As usual, I enjoyed your writing. I really need to poke through you port more often, Charlie. You're an extremely talented guy and I do enjoy your work very much!  Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ") A "Simply Positive Review Forum " Review My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 05/04/2016 @ 8:06pm EDT