Review of

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #2007275 by Not Available.

Hello,Charlie ~

I'm Bikerider and I am reviewing your item for "King's Landing updating "  I hope you find my comments helpful.




First of all, I liked Richard. Even though he thought about moving on without helping the clown, once he learned what the problem was, he was more than happy to help out Carlos. If Richard had simply just stopped, given up his free afternoon for a stranger without thinking he should have moved on, he would not seem real. We've all be where Richard finds himself in this story. Doubt, hesitation, second thoughts; the things that make us human.

Carlos the Clown also seems real to me. His worries? That the kids don't laugh. And he dropped an expensive camera into the punch bowl. Isn't being clumsy something that makes a clown funny?

I liked both of the characters in the story, and you did a good job bringing them to life.




I have none. The story is fine as is, no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors that need attention.




It appears that you have followed the prompt well, and you did it by creating an interesting story. For me, the two men throwing rocks across the lake at the end signaled the beginning of their new friendship. I remember skipping rocks across the water as a kid, so having your characters performing a childo-like activity created a more poignant scene.

Good, interesting story.

Keep writing.

Bikerider

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