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Review #4132737
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Greetings from House Florent, "King's Landing updating " !

Hi! My name is Cubby&Hubby~WeddingAnniversary and I will be providing you with feedback today.

*Castle* Thank you for submitting your entry in the "The Writer's Cramp - Poetry Week" . *Bigsmile*

*Sun* What I really liked about this: What a lovely story! *Smile* I enjoyed this very much, and the ending (I'd almost forgotten the prompt by then) was a nice surpirse. I would say this was a delight to read!

*Clouds* You might want to consider: There were just a few typos I ran across, though in the Writer's Cramp, we don't take those into consideration when judging. In the Fifth Paragraph - she came over - The s in she should be capped. In Paragraph Nine - “Oh of course Dear.” she laughed. - You might consider adding a comma or two. Also, cap the s in she or else replace the period (after Dear) with a comma. *Smile* And in the Fifteenth Paragraph - for me to pick it up the typewriter - I believe you'll want to delete the word it. I'm always typing in extra words without realizing and just shake my head, unaware of how I manage to do that. *Facepalm* *Bigsmile*

*Starb* Final thoughts... I couldn't help but smile when you wrote: I wanted to keep her! I totally get where you're coming from. Some people just make us feel so good to be around! Although, Caveat emptor!!! I've met a few that were too good to be true and later regretted my eagerness of fast friendships. *Rolleyes* Great work, Jacky. *Smile*

Good luck in the contest.

Have a great day and...
*Tulipp*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Tulipp*

Cubby ")

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