%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4132750 |
 | The Minaret  [E] A man discovers a lost city. Submission for Writer's Cramp.  |
| (4.5)   Affiliated with "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Greetings from House Florent, "King's Landing updating " !Hi! My name is Cubby and I will be providing you with feedback today.  Thank you for submitting your entry in the "The Writer's Cramp - Poetry Week" .   What I really liked about this: What a great story! It ended much too soon, as I was very much into it.  I remember my fascination with mirages when I was a child, though I'd never been to the desert. This reminded of that, which I had forgotten. My imagination is reeling! I love the fact that this is a city lost in time, and it's a nether region of man's creation, only found when alone. I love the way you think! Very intriguing. You might want to consider: There were only a few punctuation issues, which does not affect the judging in the Writer's Cramp. One of which, is in Paragraph Nine: "What was that," Gregor asked. You'll want to replace the comma with a question mark.  Another is in the last paragraph: it's countless mysteries. Even though its is possessive, only as a contraction (it's) of it is, will it have an apostrophe. Correct: its countless mysteries. Final thoughts... Indeed, most captivating! Impressive, to say the least. Nice work.Good luck in the contest. Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ") A "Simply Positive Review Forum " Review My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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