Review of

STATIC

For Baby’s Sake  (ASR) A ghost paying visits #518614 by Joy

Hello,Joy

I'm Bikerider and I am reviewing your item for "King's Landing updating "  I hope you find my comments helpful.




It wouldn't be fair for me to pick just one thing I liked about this story, there are too many things I liked to choose from.

It didn't take long before I understood that the narrator was a ghost, and not just a ghost, but the deceased mother of Greg. I would bet that there are many people who would love to be able to do and see what this ghost does.

I especially liked that Didn't place all the blame on her husband, Warren, for Greg being a nincompoop. (Greg is actually more than a nincompoop, much more). The mother didn't accept all the blame either. I think that made the story more realistic and believable. It has been my belief that both mother and father influence what a child becomes when he grows up, and your story seems to agree with me.




I saw no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors in this story.




I like the character who tells the story, the narrator. Her actions stem from her concern for the coming baby, and for me, that made whatever she did just and agreeable. Who wouldn't do all they can to make a baby happy? Choosing that gave the story life, and made me like the ghost/mother even more. I didn't like Greg or Shannon. And even though he wasn't mentioned that much in the story, I didn't like Warren either.

As writers, we strive to make our characters into the kind of people we want them to be so that they fit into their roles in the story. The narrator is easily liked, her motives are pure. Shannon and Greg are not good people the way they ignored Greg's mother. And Warren, well, he's a bum in my eyes. Putting all those characters together made this a great story. Well done.

My review has been entered in Good Deeds Get Cash!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .