Review number # 3 of week June 25-July 1st

Hi Robyn,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and for the "Game of Thrones"  .





Title: Don't Go Near the Swings

First Impression: Yikes, remind me never to play after dark with you, that was scary. I never saw the ending coming at all, especially with the girl on the swings being dead already.

What I liked: How all the children knew not to play on the swings but never shared the reason increasing Amisa's interest. Some one could have simply warned her but no one did even though the family was new in town.

What needs your attention: The dialogue is believable, the punctuation and grammar are right. The story has a great opening, a gentle tease in the middle, peaking the readers curiosity and the climatic ending which totally rocks!

Favorite Parts: Amisa feeling bad for the little girl on the swing and sneaking her cookie when she should have been in the house. Unfortunately that kind gesture did not go as Amisa hoped and her was stolen at a very young age by a child her own age. I loved the line "Dying doesn't hurt, I don't even remember the pain", that made the ending more than just a scary story but poignantly the reader how many children do actually die.

Overall Impression: This was a captivating read from the beginning to the end, this reader actually sat up straight in her chair learning forward as she read. Excellent job, Robin. I would given it first, which makes me wonder now what the other two were like.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn

What does the fox say??/ The games aren't over to the fat lady sings, and I haven't sang yet.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .