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Hi Koyel~writing again ,

I'm reviewing as a judge of "Invalid Item" . Thank you so much for submitting your story.

I enjoyed the descriptions throughout the story. Your use of language is powerful.

My only suggestion is to slow down a bit. This is important especially if you're writing erotica and have to bring out the sensuality. Take your time to describe what your characters felt emotionally and physically. As they get aroused, what do the characters feel, smell, think, taste?

I liked Maria's naughty character. If you choose to extend this story, her mother could be a source of conflict. Maybe she could find them together?

Your story has great potential. Thank you so much for sharing it and write on!
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