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Review #4143100
Viewing a review of:
 Hypocrisy  [13+]
June entry
by pamela
Review of Hypocrisy  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Pamela,

I like this short story. The characters are innocently hypocrites.

I saw some places where you could add commas such as after a character has spoken. Look at the instances below where I have placed commas in pink:
“Same here,” Josie agreed, “I can’t...hurt an animal.”
“No thanks,” she responded, “I’ve got my heart...
There are a few places above where I replaced a comma with a period. You would use a period when a dialogue tag is not used. Examples of dialogue tags are: he said, she agreed, I instructed, etc.

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any questions. Overall, this is a funny short story that I enjoyed. Write on!
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